“The Socialist Party rejects the bailout of the financial sector.” Huh? Isn’t the bailout supposed to be a clever Stalinist scheme by a clandestine Marxist or Socialist president to turn the United States into a socialist or even worse: communist country? But there it is: “If we the people are now to publicly socialize the costs of our ruling class' disastrous practices, as our corporate politicians demand, what justification can be given for handing the very pillars of our economic security back to their private and unaccountable ownership, once resurrected?” (Statement of the Socialist Party U.S.A. on “Socialists Confront The Economic Crisis”). And the presidential candidate of the rival Socialist Workers party, Roger Caléro, criticized last October that the bailout plan “will not solve the capitalists’ financial crisis, which is not a product of ‘bad’ regulation or overpaid executives, but a result of the wages system.The Democrats and Republicans are trying to socialize certain losses of the capitalists.”(emphases mine)

Well, sneaky and clever-at-half “socialist” that I am, I did not quote the following sentence to the very first cited: “Instead, we propose that the government take over the financial sector, and then delegate the distribution of home loans to a decentralized network of non-profit credit unions.” Gotcha! Well, isn’t that what card carrying members like Alan Greenspan (“Greenspan backs bank nationalisation“) and Lindsey Graham (“GOP's Graham: Bank Nationalization an Option”) are more or less proposing?

I just checked, and - Gotcha! again – the commies rewrite history on Wikipedia: Ronald Reagan would never have appointed such a socialist to be chairman of the Fed! At least they slipped up and left a few  compromising facts in: Greenspan has been married to “MSM liberal” icon Andrea Mitchell by “ultraliberal” SCOTUS Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. He dated another liberal icon, Barbara Walters, in the late 70’s. And they also forgot to expunge reference to his first marriage to artist Joan Mitchell which they claimed got annulled. Mitchell lived for almost 40 years in France(!), and died there. Gotcha! a third time - Stalinist schemer Greenspan tried to hide it but doesn’t it speak for itself that he married Andrea Mitchell only after his first wife’s death? In the same vein, Greenspan cleverly claimed to have been a friend and follower of libertarian icon Ayn Rand, but the Ayn Rand Institute’s president, Yaron Brook, thoroughly debunked the myth. So maybe, he really suckered Ronnie into nominating him Fed chairman, after all.

And Lindsey Graham? Well, you know, he is a politician. But what can we believe in these times? Could it be that Governor Mark Sanford and Senator Jim DeMint are also sleeper cells planted to undermine the conservative movement after Lindsey Graham is completely discredited as the socialist at heart that he is?

Beware, dear reader, you don’t even know it yourself: By railing against the bank bailout, you are part of a vast, worldwide Marxist conspiracy. And if you support it, even more so! Admit it: You are the socialist! – or we liberals have you waterboarded …

Next time I’ll explain why Ike, too, was a communist.